Quotes

Since Rebecca has been at college, I have taken the job of quote-taker though I do not have nearly as many as Rebecca gets. Here are some quotes from different activities we've done this year.

Winter Training

“I hadn’t noticed it; I was asleep.” –Daniel

“Here’s my lunch!”

“Pickles in a cup?” –Jared and Cameron

“We should all make speeches to embarrass Caitlín. –Daniel

“A B C D E F G” –Cameron

“Did that knucklehead [Cameron] get all that written down?”

“Yes, on receipts.” –MT Peters and Cameron

“What are you going to do to me if I forget to e-mail you?”

“I have my connections!” –Sarah and Jared

“Would that be mean?”

“Absolutely; it’d be great!” –Sarah and Mr. Fucello

COM Circle Cruise

“So Daniel’s in his own private cabin?”

“No. That’s the head door open.” –Skipper and Brenda

“His boots were really cheesy. They were too short, and they weren’t very swash buckling.” –Caitlín

“Everything is dark blue on a sea scout boat: your clothes, the cushions, your face.” –Caitlín

“Ew! Why is this sock wet?” –Caitlín

“She’s taking quotes, everyone, so shut up! –Caitlín

“It’s hissing at you!”

“It’s like my children!” –Sarah and Skipper

“You be our canary, Daniel.”

“Thank you.” –Skipper and Daniel

“You’ve got David in your mind now, don’t you?” –Brenda

“You’re gonna get poop juice on me!” –Brenda

“I could flick you with carrot peels.”

“I could touch you with my poop juice.” –Brenda and Daniel

“We got fans, we got lights--this boat is tricked out!” –Skipper

Long Cruise

“You guys aren’t singing sea songs.”

“Rebecca isn’t here to write everything down.” – MT Anderson and Mr. Fucello

“Go get ‘em, Gus. Get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em!”

“Meow!” – MT Peters and Gus

“She shoulda kicked his butt.” – Gus

“Oh, look. There’s the moon.” – COM Alexander [After sitting in the cockpit for 5 minutes…]

“Hey, you guys put the bimini up.” – Brenda

“What’s the difference between lee helm and weather helm?”

“It’s spelled differently.” – Brenda and Gus

Random

“It’s a Ship full of Eeyores.” –Mr. Fucello

“So you’re wrong as of two seconds ago.” –MT Peters

“ ‘Warning; Obstruction overhead.’ Really? There’s a bridge there?!” –Caitlín [reading a construction sign]

“I didn’t know my phone was so smart!” -Skipper

A Few Long Cruise Quotes

by Caitlín

This is usually done by Rebecca, but as she was busy for most of the time meeting the requirements for Quartermaster, I took up a bit of the slack.

"Are you tricking people into praising you for making them eat half their Oreos later?" - Cameron

"We're going to turn in a more sailing-like direction. I think...that way!" - David

"Cameron--look like a lookout!" - Caitlín

"Everybody go around a say a chore you hate and why you hate doing it." - David

I am so not having fun!" - Random whiny sailing student in Annapolis

"Show the Mates the picture of me when I was stoned." - Eric

"I know, it's so creepy, looking at ourselves." - Cameron

Caitlín: "That's so sexist it burns!"
David: "It burns like the stove you should be slaving over!"

"I'm sad because I have no emotions." - Cameron (reportedly made up when he was 6 years old)

"I tried to train my GPS--every time it talked I hit it." - David

"The [engine] blower is chicken-flavored." - Cameron

"I'd come and squish you from the other side, but that would be very bad for the steering of this boat." - David

"Oh my gosh, we stay closer to the nuns?!" - Daniel

Cameron: "Darn you people who bring us delicious food!"
Daniel: "She doesn't eat Crustations, remember?"

"YES, I want a yummy sandwich!" - Cameron

"You killed him good, but you killed him all over the ruler!" - Daniel

"Are you telling me that if you didn't wear a hat, your head would turn into a Chia Pet?" - MT Peters

"The more trash we generate, the faster we go!" - David

David: "We don't have any hot irons."
Cameron: "They're in the bathtub somewhere."

"We were just using an ocean liner as an aid to navigation; I don't think we care all that much what it is as long as it's not moving." - David

Quotes from Lone Sailor Dinner

Here are the quotes from the evening (most of them were from the car ride up):

"Don't you look cute in your uniform?" "Stop it." Marcus and Skipper (at skipper's office)

"They're nice buttons. They have to cost something." - Marcus

"The uniform demands respect." "I demand respect." - Marcus and Skipper

"I take back all the mean things I said about you." - Skipper

"I should have known you'd have shoe polish with you." - Skipper

"Turn right, then turn right." - Beulah (the name of the GPS)

"Bad, bad GPS." - Skipper

"We were spanking Beulah." - Mate from 1942

"That's a school. It looks like the building museum." - Skipper

"It's Beulah's alter ego." - Mate

"We won't hit the pregnant lady." - Mate

"It's hard to believe this is a two way street." - Mate

"OMG, even the bikes want to be on my side." - Mate

"They will get out of your way." - Skipper

"OMG, we're going to die." - Mate

"I hope this street is wider." - Mate

"Always and adventure." - Skipper

"Anybody need bug spray?" - Mate

"I'm a little flustered." "I can't imagine why." - Mate and Skipper

"They should just get out." - Skipper

"I have to think of something to do to his chair tomorrow." - Skipper

"Oh god, not that Sea Scout stuff again." - Skipper

"A GPS thing going on here." - Skipper

"We're mighty close though." - Skipper

"I actually took the metro earlier this year." - Skipper

"Official FBI parking only." - Skipper

"Come on back, we're blocking traffic." - Skipper

"You little bugger." - Mate

"They will, cause you look like a meter maid." - Mate

"Beauty always moves people, age doesn't." - Random guy at dinner

"The pencil was hiding under the baseball." - Rebecca

Wardroom Meeting Quotes

The Skipper and I attended the Wardroom Meeting. I got a page of quotes from the Skipper in the car on the way up, then a bunch of quotes from other adults at the meeting.

Quotes from Skipper:
"Are we in the twilight zone?"
"There must be something wrong. There's no cars."
"I've been quoted more in the last 6 months than in 10 years of that."
"No really, I wasn't complaining."
"Now I have to be careful not to miss it again."
"Maryland: we don't believe in merge areas."
"You've made your own applesauce, why not your own pickle loaf."
"You're too funny."
"I wonder if this light's long enough to get a text message out before it changes."
"That's it, I'm not doing anymore talking in the car with you. Cause I'm your only victim, that's why."
"It's not technically while I'm driving."
"The usual suspect."
"(horrible crunching sounds) Oops."
"You're not allowed to show those to anyone."
"He kin of owes me."
"Word already got out about our little plan. Dang it."
"These are just prototypes, we're working up some nice ones."
"Come on, I have a right to see how you are quoting me."
"Look at you. You're trouble."

Quotes from the meeting. Some are anonymous because I didn't know the person's name.
"I wonder if I have time for a nap before we get started." - Skipper
"I'm going to sit next to the women." - Commodore Yeckley
"He told me the engine was great, the boat just needed work."
"Bob Cooper. We could Google him."
"I think we should do that one."
"I have five women running my life now."
"We'll have to do a goober count as they come in." - Skipper
"If you have gotten here on time, you would have known we were in here." - Commodore Yeckley
"Four economists, five opinions." - Commodore Alexander
"A ketch with only one mast."
"I actually wasn't there, believe it or not." - Commodore Alexander
"Might me able to do a floating dock." - Skipper
"How deep is the reflecting pool?" - Joel David
"I just stood there and grinned." - Commodore Yeckley
"I know we can." - Skipper
"Send all the crazies up there." - Commodore Yeckley
"A lot of scouting volunteers don't know about it." - Commodore Yeckley

Long Cruise Quotes

Here are some of the quotes from the first four days of long cruise. (Names of all parties involved are replaced with nicknames.) These quotes are in no particular order. More quotes to come later. (This is about four pages worth.)

"They're normal, we're Sea Scouts." - Moneybags

"Homeschoolers can sleep for twelve hours, then do schoolwork." - Person #1

"Shultz is going to throw things at you." "What did you call me?" "Bigfoot..." - Lego and Bigfoot

"I'm just going to sit here because I'm comfortable." - Bigfoot

"The cereal needs more sugar." - C

"Scribbles is going to be in charge of cleaning the deck. You'll have to come back on Sunday." "I'll be in Boston." "That's your problem." - Bigfoot and Scribbles

"That was a good dream?" "It was a good nightmare." - Admin and Lego

"Today is sailing to nowhere, no civilization." - Admin

"It wasn't terribly comfortable. You had to wake up and squiggle around." - Person #1

"Person #1, always wet." - Admin

"It's dry?" "Yes, it's dry." "Are you eating dry oatmeal?" "No, I'm waiting for the water to get hot." - Bigfoot, Lego and C

"This boat's always right on the edge." - Money Bags

"Moneybags would say 'delegate someone'." - Admin

"You're fish bait." "I'm fish bait." - Bigfoot and Fish Bait

"The bosun can work and supervise, but if he can't supervise while he works, he shouldn't work." - The Big Cheese

"If you break the Commodore's sunglasses..." "I'll think of something." - Bigfoot and The Big Cheese

"She never put salt in my juice anymore." - The Big Cheese

"Dead fish." - Lego

"You can't navigate through a mine field. Just drive." - Bigfoot

"The water goes that way." "It always goes that way." - Lego and Bigfoot

"Boating through crab pots is fun." "No it's not." - Lego and Bigfoot

"He did not totally check it." - Lego

"Living in a tilted light house will be fun. The staircase would be hell." - Bigfoot

"The stupid great blue heron gets caught." - Admin

"Lego, Red 12 A." - Fish Bait

"No one would want to trust this crew if..." - Admin

"Want to ring the bell each time the clock goes off?" - Admin

"At least I didn't call her Stella." - Money Bags

"Michael wants to be a Sea Scout, right?" "No." - Money Bags and Mr F.

"She's got an obsessive compulsive disorder." - Admin

"What is this motley crew?" - Money Bags

"1942 left water in the bottom." - Money Bags

"Watch out for the orange things covered in maggots." - Money Bags

"Sorry the batteries aren't charging. We think we broke it. 1942." - Bigfoot

"Get some of those quotes and put them on her shirt." - Moneybags

"I don't know, she didn't learn." - Admin

"We're going west, going west, going west, then turning slightly and going west." - Bigfoot

"We can just tack back and forth for two hours." - Moneybags

"Is there a point when we can get out of your navigation and sail around?" "No." - Admin and Bigfoot

"It wasn't long cruise. No papers to file, no watches, no BSA rules. They were both sailing grandmas." - Moneybags

"Senior moments already." - Money Bags

"Five-year-olds warp your brain." "Teenagers warp your brain." - Person #1 and Money Bags

"Before I met you, I was normal." - Moneybags

"Define normal." "It's a setting on the washing machine." - Fish Bait and Moneybags

"Hopping across the floor." - Moneybags

"All you have to do is attach a line to you and swim." "Until the jelly fish sting and you swell up into a big welt." - Fish Bait and Admin

"Half the junk food." - Admin

"Hamburgers, hot dogs, junk food." - Moneybags

"Lots and lots of beans. You'll be sleeping on deck for the next two nights." - Money Bags

"And you thought Girl Scouts were silly." "Girl Scouts are the silliest things." - Money Bags and Bigfoot

"Friendly, Friendlier, Friendliest patch." "Don't forget the cake decorating." - Bigfoot and Money Bags

"That's why, it's a bunch of teenagers." - Money Bags

"This boat can really use a cleaning before we get to the pool." - Money Bags

"Instead of swimming, we can do school of the ship." - Money Bags

"Yeah!" - Fish Bait

"If it goes over the side, you'd better be hanging on to it." - The Big Cheese

"There's a button that says 16." - Bigfoot

"It's like paying rent for a house, except it's rent for a boat." - Lego

"I'm trying to gross people out by my exciting eating habits." - Lego

"It's quite late, it's a quarter of seven." - Admin

"She's writing at two quotes a minute." - Person #1

"When he says a stupid...comment, you should jump overboard and see what Moneybags says." - Admin

"60?" - Person #1

"Scribbles, hold your hands out." - Bigfoot

"Imagine how many pairs of feet have been on this?" - Person #2

"It's hotter than me." - Shultz

"It was off, he couldn't make a call." - C

"Let's listen in on him." - C

"Um, over." - Fish Bait

"They're being monitored." - Admin

"Negative, we have not made a reservation." - Fish Bait

"Roger that, over." - Fish Bait

"She looked like she wanted to slug you." - Money Bags

"If The Big Cheese goes swimming, you've got to make sure he has a sploosh." - Money Bags

"Scribbles, are you going to have a heart attack?" "Is she laughing or having a seizure?" - C and Fish Bait

"What's the highest level?" "Painting your nails." - Bigfoot and Money Bags

"I've got it! I've got it!" - Bigfoot

"Yeah, I hit him in the face." - Fish Bait

"1942 left all their old food on board." "Including an old egg roll." - C and Scribbles

"It takes 100,000 volts to kill you." - Schultz

"What were you doing with your hands inside a lawn mower?" - C

"Where are we going to find line on a sailboat?" - Bigfoot

"That was your dinner, you just missed it." - Mr F.

"Did you hear it scream ' Help me, help me!'?" - Money Bags

"Have you cut up a pineapple before?" - Bigfoot

"How can you tell?" "Thunk Test" - Person #1 and Bigfoot

"Are there any actual knives on board?" - Bigfoot

"That one doesn't go on the website." - Money Bags

"So the skull and cross bones water bottle is yours?" - Bigfoot

"That's our intention." - Money Bags

"Yes, do that until your knuckles start bleeding." - C

"There's no standing on the table." - Money Bags

"There's no dancing on the table." - Admin

"There's a bald eagle over there." "Thank you miss ADD." - C and Bigfoot

"She's a bird freak." - Money Bags

"Trash, smash it." "If you can crush it, crush it." - C and Bigfoot

"Be nice to the chief when you're a slave. They'll get you back." - Money Bags

"Mr Strawberry Ice Cream." - Money Bags

"A bowl of poop soup." - Money Bags

"A chain the skipper beats us with." - Bigfoot

"Notebook overboard." - Mr F

"You don't have enough paper missy." "50 pages" - Money Bags and Scribbles

"They're my friends, they don't sting me." - Money Bags

"How do you show someone how to use the head?" - Person #2

"No lollipop sticks." - Money Bags

"That gets the pen out of her hand." - Money Bags

"Drenched, soggy, soaked." - Money Bags

"How many Sea Scouts does it take to close the door?" "Nine, but it just needs to slam." - Money Bags and Admin

"Caitlin's 19, so I can't be her friend." - Money bags

"That's why it's a bunch of teenagers." - Money Bags

"Just take him to Minnesota." - Money Bags

"Bubba, what are you doing down below? Come up while we're still sailing." - Money Bags

"I never would. I've have sips, and it's yucky." - C

"We have to get a van like 548." "Newer." - Money Bags and Admin

"Boys are so dumb, they hit each other and go 'Ouch'." - C

"Boys are only dumb when they're drunk." - Bigfoot

"Better than a sharp stick in the eye, right?" - Money Bags

"We can go ashore and start doing car washes." - Fish Bait

"We should have stayed there longer." "Forever." - Fish Bait and Money Bags

"A study of the algae?" - Lego

"Google Maps are awesome." - Money Bags

"I believe when I went into the galley, I was a little distracted." - Person #1

"That's the true stuff of someone, if they can eat that and not get sick." - Bigfoot

"He doesn't want us to talk about W-I-N-D." - Lego

"I smelled every inch of the business end at least." - Money Bags

"I deny everything." - Money Bags

"Sploosh! That's our motto." - Person # 1

"1, 2, 3, 4, 17..." - Admin

"I got to watch my friend set his face on fire." - Bigfoot

"Candy bar overload. Caramel, chocolate, peanuts." - Money Bags

"Now what are you writing?" - Money Bags

"Two spoons, two forks, a spork and a knife." - Person #1

"There's no stopping her." - Lego

"Lash ourselves to the mast. Hang on." - Money bags

"Every time you write something down, you giggle." - Money Bags

"Whoever's hat this is, I'm going to throw it on the floor." - C

"Daniel, you're getting me wet, you dog!" - Money Bags

"We're all a bunch of goobers on this boat." - Money Bags

"Tom Ballew charges $300 for cruises." - Money Bags

"If we sunk the boat now, we'd all be the Grateful ded PeLiKans." - Bigfoot

Long Cruise Planning Meeting Quotes

At last night's Long Cruise Planning meeting, I got a page of quotes. Thanks to David for the first quote of the night. (In order to understand it, you had to have seen him.)

"Normal Sea Scout ... ... Homeschooled Sea Scout." - David

"I don't need it at stupid Sea Scout Meetings." - Caitlin

"It's the Daddy ATM." - Mr Fucello

"The person who brought the dollar store hash is teaching FOOD?" - David

"David is doing a fashion show." - Skipper (goes along with the first quote)

"That requires having a level playing surface that doesn't sway side to side." - David

"Grease the watermelon." - Skipper

"Squirty fish." - Skipper

"Hold a bad singing voice over everyone." - David

"What is the rule about the forward head?" "It is a number one rule." - Caitlin and Ms. MacDonald

"What goes in must come out." - David

"If you get stinky, we'll dunk you." - Skipper

"If you smell, you're not getting into my van." - Mr Fucello

"She spelled 'der' wrong." - Skipper

"You don't work in your work uniform." - Skipper

"Sometimes there's an emergency and you really have to get there." - Skipper

"The head always gets clogged up with the most disgusting stuff." - Skipper

NE Regional Bridge of Honor Quotes #2

Here are the rest of the select quotes from the RBOH.

"We're making them sit next to each other. We'll generate 10 pages of quotes." - David

"You weren't in skip." - Gus

"Buttercup is such a corny name." - Sarah

"Shift into neutral and rev the engine." - ___________

"Caitlín has to sleep on that side because if the smoke alarm goes off and water comes out, she gets wet first." - Skipper

"This is the real history. Who cares about meeting minutes." - __________

"It doesn't smell bad because they haven't been there that long." - Skipper

"The jacuzzi looks good. I could use that." - Skipper

"I was right for once." - Skipper

"You only need to volunteer 400 hours a year for 7 years." - Skipper

"All's fair in love and war, and this is definitely not love." - Stephen

"No where in the rules does it say that scouts have to be boys." - Skipper

"If I was going to be there, I'd learn from Steve Alexander." - Captain Nichols

"They left me and I didn't have a room key." - Sarah

"The last one ready gets hit with a stick, and the skipper gets to do the hitting." - Skipper

"Rebecca, you should invest in a mechanical pencil." - David

"It's a good thing Rebecca doesn't breath through her hand." - Mr. Fucello

"I'm nice outside of Sea Scouts." - David

"Lock the door dad, so they can't come in." "No, I only do that to you." - Sarah and Mr Fucello

"Honk." "I must be blind." "You couldn't see the blue van?" - Daniel and Caitlin

"He's either looking for Chinese food or looking at someone's hair." - David

"It's too gross to not get a picture of." - Caitlín

"Gus, let me see your creepy drink." - Caitlín

"Cancel, cancel, cancel." - Mr Fucello's GPS

"Rebecca picks the most random things to write down." - Caitlín

"I think I just saw a bunch of turkeys over there." "There are turkeys in the back. Six of them" - Mr. Fucello and Skipper

"Want some ManZone snacks?" "Ultimate ManZone, more power!" - Daniel and Skipper

"When you get really good at the skip drill, we should make a video and post it on YouTube." - Skipper

"Spaghetti, hot dogs, mac and cheese, hot dogs, spaghetti, hot dogs." - David

"We should come up with our own girly line of snacks. Too girly for guys." - Skipper

"At least we won't have any singing on the way back. Daniel's asleep." - Caitlín

"Who wouldn't notice me though?" "Apparently Rachel." - Daniel and David

"If it was raining any harder, we could be sailing home." - David

"I just want to pat them on the head." "They would be so offended." "You are so cute." - Skipper and Caitlín

"On long cruise, we should do one day where we pick up the cadets and teach them how to sail." - David

"Aww, the stupid Sea Scouts got lost again." - Skipper

"When in doubt, accelerate." - Mr Longhi

"Have it say what the skipper wants it to say." "Maybe we should have someone else do it also." - Skipper and Caitlín

"Daniel, do you want ice cream? No? Are you dead?" - Caitlín

"There's Rebecca, ice cream in one hand, pencil in the other." - Sarah

"Wait, Rebecca, you're left handed? How long has she been writing quotes and I haven't noticed?" - Daniel

"I agree with David for once." - Caitlín

"Next year for my birthday, I'm going on a cruise on a tall ship." - Skipper

"Our one head is better than der Pelikan's two." - Skipper

"Sipping on the coffee, but it's not doing any good." - Mr. Fucello

"Daniel was the one partying. 'Don't close the dance, I've still got moves left'." - David

"The 90 year old ladies wanted to dance with him." - David

"No one within 70 or 80 years of their age should dress like that." - David

"Are you starting the ninth page already?" "This is the tenth." - Caitlín and Rebecca

"I'm going to have to break her pencil into three pieces." "I'll set a match to that book." - Skipper and Mr. Fucello

"Oh Sarah, it's very you." - Caitlín

"Rebecca stole a hat from the blues brothers." - Skipper

"Daniel has too much hair." - Caitlín

"Can you give the camera back so we can take one of Rebecca?" "Yeah, Daniel." - Sarah, Caitlín

"I can get a picture of Gus without him doing the peace sign." "Yes!" - David and Caitlín

"Captain Jack Sparrow." - David

"I'm surrounded by dorks." - David

"I'm not going to make it the whole way." - David

"Fill up your lungs sideways." - Sarah

"Wake up people." - Sarah

"Bosun..." "Permission granted." - David, Caitlín

"Isn't it great to know we are so fascinating. We have high entertainment value. Rebecca's stuck with us, she might as well make fun of us." - Skipper

"Who wants to learn navigation? You can't get anywhere if you don't know how." - Skipper

"There will be the most from Gus as usual." - Caitlín

"I hate Tweety." - Mr. Fucello

"Touching my stuff? I'm braking your face." - Skipper

"Not windy enough, is it?" "I didn't say sail, I said boat." - Caitlín

Quotes on the way to the NE Regional Bridge of Honor

From 9:30 am Sat to 12:30 pm Sunday, I collected 10 1/2 pages of quotes from the six scouts and two adults from our ship. There might be one or two quotes from other ships.

Here are select quotes from 9:30 am to about 1 pm Sat. (Select quotes from the rest of the trip will be posted shortly.):

"Everybody stop talking and no one gets quoted." - Mr. Fucello

"The first thing you need to do is hand over all your notebooks and pencils and no one gets hurt." - Skipper (This, as you can tell, didn't happen)

"That's the Alexandria Hotel." "That's a hotel?" "It's a jail." - Mr F.ucello and Skipper

"She said everybody, Daniel. Not you." - Skipper

"Evil quote taker." - Skipper,

"If you weren't so obvious about taking pictures of him then you wouldn't be considered a stalker." - __________

"You have fun just going on random tangents, Daniel." - David

"Are we that interesting?" - Skipper

"I got a 45 on the homeschooler quiz." - David

"Homeschoolers aren't social enough to act out." - David

"The whole world is poisoned. Get used to it." - Skipper

"Let's stop talking about creepy body parts." - Caitlín

"Everything is bad for you nowadays." - David

"What's the difference between roadkill and a lawyer who has been run over? There's no skid marks in front of the lawyer." - Daniel

"There's the ugly shopping center. So pretty." - Skipper

"Crunch, crunch, slurp." - Daniel

"There was suddenly no talking, just crunch, crunch." - Sarah

"You can chew with the roof of your mouth?" - David

"She has a cyst in her ovary with teeth and hair." - Skipper

"Are you sure it's not a really ugly kid?" - David

"We're Sea Scouts, we don't get sea sick. How can we get car sick?" - David

"Just how many times did you throw them out the window if they did that?" - Skipper

"I can't believe it's been two hours." "It's been one." - Daniel and David

"Somalian Pirates stole an oil tanker." - David

"Pirates with style." - David

"The machine doesn't work very well if there's a bullet through the middle." - David

"We'll just have to make sure you don't drive." - David

"And she's writing it down." "I thought she had put that away." - Daniel and David

"Daniel, stop bothering him. You don't want Gus to get angry." - David

"Half the quotes are about the quotes." - David

"At least Rebecca has something to do." - Daniel

"So Daniel, are you ever going to shave off that peach fuzz mustache?" - David

"Why am I the one always being picked on? I'm not the youngest anymore." - Daniel

"Why are we in a tunnel anyway?" "Going through Baltimore harbor." - Daniel and Mr. Fucello

"When I went to Holy Spirit, I was chubby." "You were chubby?" - __________

"Daniel coughs when he hears 'girls' or 'ice cream'." - Skipper

"You guys need to talk slower, Rebecca can't write fast enough." - Mr. Fucello

"How can you use Gus and energy in the same sentence?" - Mr. Fucello

"Permission to hit him?" "Permission granted." - David and Caitlín

"Why does that girl not have her hair out of her face?" "It's not a girl." - Skipper, quoting another person

"She could publish them as a book." - Mr Fucello

"Are you trying to saw your leg off?" "With a comb it is going to take a long time." - David and Caitlín

"Hey Rebecca, I'll pay you if you stop at 5." - Daniel

"Sometime people say I look like a girl." "You do when you have makeup on." - Daniel and Caitlín

"Man am I glad my dad's not the skipper of this ship." - Daniel

"You're not going to be the skipper?" "I'm going to quit right after this trip." - Daniel and Skipper

"I have all the good spork flare there are." - Skipper

"Someday you people actually have to learn to be social. That will be a very humorous day for me." - David

"Could we possibly be any nerdier?" "Anything's possible." - David and Mr. Fucello

"I don't know where to go. I'm just doing what the GPS tells me." - Mr. Fucello

"It's carbonated prune juice." - Mr. Fucello

"You've been here less than 3 hours, and you already have 4 1/2 pages of quotes." - David

"What is wrong with you Daniel? We're going north, and you're speaking southern." - Caitlín

"Wawa means 'goose' in the native NJ language." - Skipper

"Gus is the soul of the ship." - Mr Anderson

"We shouldn't talk around her." - Caitlín

"Why the heck would you sing happy birthday to a hippo?" - David

"Curious about what?" "What human tastes like." - Daniel and Gus

USS Barry Quotes

by Rebecca

Here are some of the quotes from the USS Barry overnight:

"You have to tell people to obey the signs." - Skipper

"We're all dead." - Sarah

"Ninja quote taker. Sneaky quote taker." - Skipper

"We should just gag you." - Caitlín

"It's a squished tuba." - Scott

"That little kid who was barking like a chihuahua." - Skipper

"There might be some reckless cadet in the way." - Caitlín

"It's like a noodle." - Scott

"You guys are more faggy than us." - Skipper

"It's amazing you are normal." - Caitlín

"Everything's another quote, when it's out of context." - Caitlín

"We're going on strike if we have to do drill again." - Sarah

"What are we going to do at dinner without Daniel to make fun of?" "He won't get locked outside or fall asleep at the table." - Caitlín and Skipper

"They're still just getting in the van." - Caitlín

"They remind me of Boy Scouts." - Jared

"The Sea Scouts challenge us to a duel of napping." "And we lost." - Skipper and Mr Fucello

"What did you win?" "An asparagus." - Caitlín and Scott

"The constant pencil scraping." - Caitlín

"Hey, I'm in charge, and I don't feel like marching." - Caitlín

"Let's just beat ourselves with sticks instead." - Skipper

"The quotes are the best part." - Scott

"Forward Skip!" "About Nap!" - Everyone

"As soon as we stop for breakfast, you get two noogies from everyone." - Skipper

"I was wondering why you didn't have your quote book out, but then I realized we're all too tired to say anything funny." - Sarah

"The Skipper is going to have lobster for dinner every night." - Skipper

Typical Quarterdeck Meeting

by Rebecca

At the February Quarterdeck Meeting, I hadn't planned on collecting quotes. But thanks to Skipper Shay and Mr Sanford, I started writing them down on the back on the agenda. Here are some of the better ones.

"Skipperish things." - Skipper Shay

"That doesn't sound like it is a skipperish thing." - Mr Sanford

"Rebecca, we're going to have to confiscate all your paper." - Caitlín

"We can practice CPR on them." - Mr Longhi

"The rain gutters aren't that deep." - David

"You can give me my purple one back now." - Skipper

"I think the marinas have enough life rings." - Skipper

"We could walk to the grocery store there." - Skipper

"Untie all those knots, take the sails down." - Skipper

"I don't want an all green crew." - Skipper

"Men in kilts, yes." - Skipper

"Prop wash is the bay." - David

"Do you know what the shoreline does on a boat?" "It gets you stuck." - Mr Longhi and Adam

"Sit around, take naps, eat cookies." - Skipper

"A long cruise is sleeping on the boat." - Mate Enright

"We had Commodore Alexander." - David

"Somebody goobered it up." - Skipper

"They need to put one fake skeleton in there." - David

"I'm pretty sure the quotes are longer than the minutes now." - David

"Supply guy. Storekeeper." - Mr Longhi

"That's not a quote." "Yes, it is actually." - David and Mr Sanford

Winter Training Quotes

by Rebecca

Once again, I had paper and a pen with me this weekend at Winter Training to write down some quotes that members of Ship 7916 said.

Here are some of the quotes (not in order of when they were said):

"That's very David." - Skipper

"She switched to quotes again." - Sarah

"I need to get me some oxygen." - Mr. Longhi

"Pizza and beer for dinner." - Skipper

"Sprite Zero tastes like it is burning your tongue." - Caitlín

"Aflac." - Gus

"I like that feeling." - Gus

"Broccoli raw has that weird broccoli taste." - Caleb

"How bad do we spank you?" - Mr. Longhi

"Are you doing quotes?" - Mr. Wills

"I turned around and mocked you immediately." - Mr. Kent

"Snow is a solid?" - Skipper

"Stage a mutiny." - Caleb

"This room has had more excitement now than in the last 12 hours." - Mr. Fucello

"Sleep on the hotel floor for $20." - Skipper

"I can sleep on my floor for free." - Caleb

"It was a little smokey." - Mr. Wills

"Just bang their heads together." - Skipper

"Don't you hate it when parents do this?" - Caleb

"I stuck my head in and raised the average age in the room 10 years." - Mr. Kent

"Can he catch a drip?" "Dude!" - Skipper and Mr. Wills

"Everyone would like 'Enter the Haggis'." - Skipper

"Poor Boatswain." - Skipper

"Could you please pass me all my clothing?" - Caleb

"Don't you dare write that down." - Caleb

"Another version of the happy dance of joy." - Mr. Longhi

"I mean it looks like skulls." - Caitlín

"Why not? Joe said it." - Mr. Longhi

"We were worried you would be doing this." - Skipper

"12." "13." "Whoo!" - Mr. Fucello and Caleb

"Gee Adam, who's going to fire who?" - Mr. Longhi

"Positive 14." "A thousand and 14?" - Adam and Caitlín

"She's quoting you, dad." - Sarah

"Can't hear you, sonny boy." - Mr. Fucello

"We'll be the stars." - Skipper

"I trust you all to do it yourselves, except for that one." - Skipper

"Don't touch it, Gus." - Caleb

"Banging their heads on trash can lids." - Skipper

"It's all lies." - Skipper

"I thought it was safe, but you're hiding back there behind Skipper Shay." - Mr. Wills

"It's the aliens coming to get you!" - Skipper

"There's the mean skipper lady." - Skipper

"I'm never making a bad suggestion again." - Skipper

"Oh, ok." "You're welcome." "I still don't get it." - Gus and Caitlín

"Don't cross me again." - Skipper

"Everyone will love you if you did that." - Caitlín

"Show me the surgeon!" - Mr. Wills

"That's like David right there." "You found a David character." - Caitlín and Skipper

"Overly macho." - Skipper

"He's probably snoring, then." - Mr Wills

"You would want to look like Ken?" - Skipper (to Gus)

"The horse is still moaning." - Skipper

Sarah: "Did you just call it petrified meat?"
Caitlín: "Yes! It's like fossilized!"

"David, will you go to the dance with me?" - Gus

"Strange children." - Skipper

"They'll do a right good job at it. If they don't, I'll kick their butts!" - Skipper

"I'll buy front row tickets to that." - Mr. Wills

"My bed's gone!" - Rebecca

"My lips are blue." - Skipper

"Do YOU like your chocolate?" - Gus

"As the senior ranking officer, my crew gets the best." - Skipper

"I'm actually doing some Sea Scout stuff tomorrow." - Mr. Wills"

"It was like watching a movie." - Skipper

Gus: "That would be funny."
Caitlín: "If you died?"
Gus: "Yes."

"Somebody better say 'Yes', or I'm going to have to appoint them!" - Skipper

"Where's my biggly-wiggly?" - Mr. Wills

"What? I like my chocolate." - Gus

"Get out of my county, mister." - Skipper

"He's a dude!" - Mr. Wills

"'Cause you can't call 911 if you're passed out." - Skipper

"Nertz?" - Jared

"Harrison, if you want you can go clean up everything." - David

"Going to go fill up with sugar." - Gus

"Man, that tastes funky." "Tastes about as funky as you, Gus." - Gus and Jared

"Full contact team solitaire." - Sarah

Rebecca: "Chocolate and lemonade?"
Gus: "Yes!"

"Caleb, do you mind if I move your coat?" "Yes, go ahead." - Sarah and Caleb

"Red ten, red ten.." - Caitlín

"I learned how to do it. Does it mess you up?" "No." - Mr. Fucello and Caitlín

"It's the nertzinator." - Scott

"David said he wants to have a chocolate pudding IV if he is in a coma." - Sarah

"Your fingers are weird." - Jared

"This is not for the lemonade, just for my own enjoyment." - Gus

"I shuffled them." "Really bad." - Jared and Caitlín

"Mustard!" - Caitlín, Caleb and Rebecca

Quotes from Uniform Trip

by Rebecca

Today a bunch of the scouts went up to Avenue, MD to get Winter Blues. We ended up not only getting the blues, but also getting the whites.

As usual, I had my notebook to write down quotes. Here are some of them.

"On every long cruise, everyone should have a nickname." "Let me say: 'NO!!" - Daniel and David

"Too bad Gus isn't here to hit on Caitlín." - Daniel

"I have more pictures of Gus than you." - Daniel

"She's writing down everything we say." - Mark

"Was that a yawn or a scream?" "It was a Daniel thing." - Adam M. and Caitlín

"Darn, I forgot to buy a gag for Daniel." - Caitlín

"Who said anything about killing?" - David

"What would happen if we left him on the side of the interstate?" - David

"Is that an Adam question?" "It's not an Adam question, it's THE Adam question." - Caitlín and David, in regard to Adam L.

"Your hair is just too strong." - Mark

"I once had too much cheesecake." "Is that possible?" "Yes." - Daniel and Adam M.

"You look like a scary clown." - Caitlín

"Are you bionic?" - Daniel

"Daniel, are you being creepy?" - David

"I think I'm actually speechless." - David

"Who votes for real music over Daniel?" - David

"I've run out of strength." - Daniel

"Oh my gosh, we're all going to die." "No, Daniel, not everyone, just you." - Daniel and David

David: [referring to Daniel stroking his chin] "Daniel, you don't have anything to stroke down there."
Daniel: "Yes I do."
David: "I see one [hair]."
Daniel: "There are six!"
David: "I shaved this morning and I already have more than six."

"You can sleep through death." - Mark

"He was trying to look like a girl." - Caitlín

"You don't have to worry about that. You already do, Daniel." - Adam M.

"I would say a girl or an emo guy, but then I realized they look the same." - Mark

"You have a muscle?" - Caitlín

"Anyone have a hair tie?" "No." "Whoa, what?" - Daniel, Adam M., and David

"We should attach a price tag to Daniel and toss him out." - David

"Good thing we don't have more than one Daniel." - Caitlín

"No, not dating. You're considering dating a Nazi." - David

"Why are we arguing about showers?" - Adam M.

"I love that smell." "Burning bags?" - Mark and Caitlín

"It's not dangerous. Ouch!" - Daniel

"I can do it with my head. Can you?" - Caleb

"You don't want to smell this hair." - Daniel

"We could probably throw Daniel on the fire." - David

"Do you think he will taste more like beef or pork?" "Chicken." - Mark and David

"I'm a mud Scout." - Daniel

Caleb: [Speaking to Mark, who was in charge of cooking:] "I can be your faithful sidekick."
Caitlín: "No, it's the 'galley slave,' remember?"

"Daniel is a weed." - David

"Daniel is not talking for once." - Caitlín

"It sounds like a duck." - Sarah

"Just don't wear it in public." - David

"I'm sorry, I won't say 'Hi' anymore." - Caitlín

"Daniel, do you want to pick out Gus's clothes?" "All right!!" - Caleb and Daniel

"You look like a little elf or something." - Caitlín

"Let me sleep in peace for petesake." - Daniel

"Oh no, not the hat!" - Adam M.

"I didn't know you all had things that small." - David

"I was listening to this song and thought it was a soup commercial." - Adam M.

Downrigging Quotes

by Rebecca

This afternoon Caitlín, Daniel, Gus, Skipper Shay and I went up to Chestertown for the Sultana's Downrigging Weekend.

Here are some of the quotes that were said in the car on the way up and back. (There were more funny quotes, but I didn't write them down because we were on the tall ships.)

"I wish David was here so he could teach me The Irish Rover." - Daniel

"We're all going to die." - Daniel

"Daniel, what's wrong?" - Caitlín

"You know how glad I am that I'm not claustrophobic?" - Daniel (who was in the middle of the back seat, between Gus and me)

"Do these look like dog biscuits?" 'They are." - Caitlín and Skipper Shay

"Your ears perk up when you hear 'trouble'." - Skipper Shay

"You'll never guess my middle name." "Hamster!" - Skipper Shay and Gus

"Aflac!" - Gus

"What if the helicopter hits the bridge?" - Caitlín

"Oh, you bit me." "I just put my tooth on you." - Daniel and Gus

"I've never been to a full service gas station." - Caitlín

"This is a historic moment." - Skipper Shay

"My brains almost came out my nose." - Skipper Shay

Petty Officer Traing Quotes

Once again, those not on the cruise will not understand most of these quotes. Some of us that were on the cruise don't even understand some.

"I miss Kitty." - Skipper Shay

"We don't have Gus." - David

"I've always wanted to serve under Santa Claus." - David

"Annapolis is ten miles from Baltimore, but it will take us six hours to get there." - Skipper Shay

"He might as well be putting a flaming dog turd to his mouth." - Skipper Shay, referencing a man smoking a cigar

"I'm going to fill the role of both me and Gus on this ship." "Gus doesn't sing; we prefer Gus over you." - Daniel and David

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, oh!!" - Daniel

"Daniel's completely dead." - Caitlín

"Daniel, you're like a demented monkey." - Caitlín

"He's firmly rooted in the 19th century." "Ah, the days of his youth." - Captain Nichols and David

"Come on Daniel, beat your chest." - Skipper Shay

"9:21 and we're really sailing." - Caitlín

"Open your eyes before going down below." - Skipper Shay

"Are we going to hit the bridge?" "Only if you keep talking about it." - Adam and Skipper Shay

"Wake!!" "What?" "You're acting like a drunk person." - Daniel and Caitlín

"There we go, 6 knots. Much better." - David

"It's killing him now anyway." - Skipper Shay

"Geezo Flip!" "You need to email that to Sarah Palin." - Mr. Longhi

"We can periodically throw things at you if you want." "Yes, if they're dry." - Caleb and Mr. Longhi

"What's breaking the rules?" "Feeding David." - Adam and Caitlín

"You can't force homeschoolers to do anything." - Skipper Shay

"No wonder they're so cracked. They don't have a dollar's worth of salt." - Caitlín, about lame chips

"We got them from the dollar store." - Skipper Shay

"He usually chews through books." "3-5 knots is his normal speed." - Skipper Shay and David

"Sounds like a crocodile mating." (Indescribable sound coming from Daniel's mouth while it was closed.) - Skipper Shay

"You're the odd duck." "I'm not a duck!" - Skipper Shay and Daniel

"The Commodore's having too much fun this morning." - Skipper Shay

"Hey, I should try that. Knocking Scouts around." - Skipper Shay

"Gotta find a sharpie." - Skipper Shay

"Oh, I forgot Sea Scouts." - Daniel

"Doesn't Sea Scouts rule your world, Daniel?" - Skipper Shay

"Dating" "Girls" (Daniel coughs whenever these words were mentioned)

Sea Scout Mad Libs

by Rebecca

These were done on the Petty Officer Training Cruise.

From a Mad Lib of the Sea Scout Promise:

As a Car Scout, I promise to do my best:
To guard against lip accidents.
To know the location and sweet use of the life saving devices on every Caleb I board.
To be prepared to render picks to those in need.
To seek to preserve the motto of the sea: Noses and Caitlín first.

From a Mad Lib based on Long Cruise Quotes (All names refer to the original quote.):

"There's always a bigger rutabaga." - Gus

"When we have to do the amputation, you're not going to be able to sneeze very well." - Skipper Shay

"There's a really big zipper on the dinghy. Oh, wait, that's Gus." - David

"I sometimes wish I was a potato." - Gus

"A helpful scout is a ducky scout." - Skipper Shay

"If you have anything disgusting, Gus will laugh it." - Mate Dan

"Everybody watch what you say, she's got her crack out again." - Daniel

"I like dust bunnies." - Gus

"I'm not good at pickpocketing rolling stuff." - Daniel

"Why are you pinching your spleen?" "I don't have anything else to do." - Daniel and Gus

"Gus, you don't have to eat your appendix, you can eat cookies." - Caitlín

"Did she taste like OCCL (over concentrated Crystal Light)?" - Gus

"That's the last hangnail you get from me, missy." - Skipper Shay

"Is there such a thing as bad ice cream?" "Yes, hash flavored." - Mate Dan and Skipper Shay

"Are you eating your nose hair again?" - Daniel

"That's girly tea." "It's tea that mops back." - Mate Dan and Skipper Shay

"Tell me that's not surreptitious." "That's not surreptitious." - Skipper Shay and Mate Dan

"I wonder what a jellyfish elf would shiver like." - Caitlín

"Did we run out of kitties?" "Yes, you ate them all." - Daniel and David

"Buy canned fried grapes at the dollar store." - Daniel

"No one else is fruity, it's just your imagination." - Gus

"My tonsils are 3.2 nautical miles apart." - David

"Mine are 3.1 nice leagues." - Caitlín

"Did Gus get attacked by dung beetles again?" - Mate Dan

"They're girls, you're never going to understand them, so just chew." - David to Gus

Long Cruise Quotes

by Rebecca

Do you wonder what scouts (and leaders) talk about on a week long cruise? I have the answer right here.

These are select quotes from the week. A lot of them may not make sense to those who were not on the cruise. (Some don't even make sense to those of us on the trip.)

Tuesday:

"There's always a bigger fish." - Gus

"That's my line!" - Daniel

"When we have to do the amputation, you're not going to be able to walk very well." - Skipper Shay

"There's a really big lump on the dingy. Oh, wait, that's Gus." - David

"Daniel's actually going to be quiet." - Mate Dan

"I sometimes wish I was a girl." - Gus

"A helpful scout is a happy scout." - Skipper Shay

"Dog is quite tasty." - Skipper Shay

"If you have anything disgusting, Gus will eat it." - Mate Dan

"This is not going to be something we will enjoy." - Daniel

"Time to torture the scouts!" - Skipper Shay

Wednesday:

"Who's Willy Nilly?" - Gus

"Anchor fun, Aaron." - Skipper Shay

"Super Shay!" - Gus

"Everybody watch what you say, she's got her quote book out again." - Daniel

"Wake up Gus, wake up!" - Caitlín

"Daniel, wake up!" - Everyone (said multiple times during the trip)

"I have a question. When do we sail?" - Skipper Shay on the Sultana tour

"Rotten brain cells." "What?" - Skipper Shay and Daniel

"Gus is so funny." - Skipper Shay

"I like potatoes!" - Gus

"I'm not good at pickpocketing small stuff." - Daniel

"Why are you pinching your temple?" "I don't have anything else to do." - Daniel and Gus

"I like pie!" - Daniel

"Bunnies are best." - Gus

"How shallow is super shallow?" "2.7 feet." Captain Nichols and Mate Dan

"Did she taste like root beer?" - Gus

"I'm a little evil, but not that evil." - Daniel

"Geez, we shouldn't talk around her." - Daniel

"Isn't that what fishing is: an excuse to drink beer?" - Skipper Shay

"Have you licked the skin off yet?" - Skipper Shay

"He puts powder on his wrist, then eats it." - Caitlín

"Boater's foot. We're not sure we want to know exactly what that is." - Skipper Shay

"Tie an overhand knot around something." "Ok." (Caitlín pretends to do it around David's neck.) - David and Caitlín

"Just enjoy bossing the boys around." - Skipper Shay

"That's the last quote you get from me, missy." - Skipper Shay

"Is that the bathtub boat?" - David

"Is there such a thing as bad ice cream?" "Yes, bubble gum flavored." - Skipper Shay and Mate Dan

"Are you eating your hand again?" - Daniel

"Gus, you don't have to eat your hand, you can eat cookies." - Caitlín

"He was checking his eyelids for light leaks." - Captain Nichols

"You look like you're wearing lipstick." - Caitlín to Gus

"Scrambled brains and monster guts." - Skipper Shay

"It's the Ninja Café." - Daniel, Caitlín, Rebecca to Gus

"Boys, you're creeping me out!" - Caitlín

Thursday:

"The tropical mix has red stuff in it. That's the only difference." - David

"Girly tea." "It's tea that bites back." - Mate Dan and Skipper Shay

"Tell me that's not beautiful." "That's not beautiful." - Skipper Shay and Mate Dan

"For a moment I thought that was Gus in the boat." "His sneaking skills have improved." - Skipper Shay and Caitlín (A boat passing us had a person who looked like Gus)

"Most of the scouts are un-ironed." - Mate Dan

"Pump out boat, pump out boat, pump out boat, this is Der Pelikan." - Captain Nichols

"1.333333 eggs!" - Caitlín

" I wonder what a jellyfish elf would look like." - Caitlín

"Did we run out of cookies?" "Yes, you ate them all." - Daniel and David

"Do we have a dollar store around here?" "No, what are you thinking?" - Daniel and everyone

"Buy canned fried bananas at the dollar store." - Daniel

"Then you'll look like an alien and bleed to death." - Skipper Shay

"My shirt does smell funky." - Daniel

"I wish Rebecca forgot her pen." - Mate Dan

"The tentacles of the squid are the best part." - Daniel

"That tasted good. Although a few hours later, I threw up." - Gus

"Mushy, smooshy, cookies." - Gus

"Ha! Black socks." "Ha! White socks." - Gus and Caitlín

"The weather, not the company." - Skipper Shay

"So, because it's me, you're going to try the shrimp?" - Gus

"No one else is mild, it's just your imagination." - Gus

"Red delicious are disgusting." - Caitlín

"Amazingly David and I agree on something." - Caitlín

Friday:

"Point 1, Point 2, Point 3!!" - David

"If it's evil, eat it." - Skipper Shay

"The wings are not on fire." - David

"I've spent more time in the engine room than in the cockpit." - Captain Nichols

"This cheese is scary." - Caitlín

"Peace, love, gotta cut your hair." - Daniel

"So if I try to grab anything, I'll have to do it like this." (makes a gesture) - Caitlín

"No whining in the ship." - Skipper Shay

"The great big notebook of quotes." - David

"So next time you have a long cruise, the scouts will be in charge of everything. The adults will just sit here and watch." - Skipper Shay

"You were starved for a sailing experience." - Captain Nichols

"I'm always with the girls." - Gus

"If I'm lucky, it will scar." - David

"Your name's Kitty, so she should pet you." - Daniel

"It's covered in seagull poop. Don't touch it." - Skipper Shay and Caitlín

"Can I lick you?" - Gus

"I'm ready to set fire to this place." - Gus

"We're trying to make sure we don't crash into anything." - David

"My eyes are 3.2 nautical miles apart." - David

"Mine are 3.1 nautical miles." - Caitlín (about her eyes)

"Hello Kitty is crying." - Caitlín

"We're on a boat, it's rocking." - Skipper Shay

"We're sailing until midnight." - David

"Soup gloop sounds more appetizing than poop gloop." - Skipper Shay

"Three Crazy Ladies is one store." "Why add one more." Captain Nichols and Mate Dan

"Get the Sea Scouts to pluck it." - Skipper Shay

Saturday:

"Why is it wet?" - Gus

"Adults are creepy." - Caitlín

"Make me a steak." - David

"One of the two of them. Space cadets." - Skipper Shay

"Oh yeah, well my two rabbits are slightly more interesting than all of you combined." - Gus

"We don't care about the old members." - Caitlín

"Daniel is making weird monkey sounds." - Caitlín

"You have an extra bathtub?" - David

"They have four, but might have one and might have two." - David

"English is a stupid language." - David

"Bring your sister. I'll pay you." - Gus

"People are such idiots, I swear." - Caitlín

"Did Gus get attacked by ducks again?" - Mate Dan

"They're girls, you're never going to understand them, so just talk." - David to Gus

"I used to be a tree hugger, but then I decided it would be more fun to watch it all burn down." - Gus

"Massage your sleeping bag with a cow that has been soaked overnight in a sock full of warm Amp." Everyone doing a mad-lib

"The bride wore a long wet potato with goopy edging." Mad-lib

"When she enters a room, people always stare at her and say 'Frick!'" Mad-lib